Title: "Straight" Pairing: Sean Bean/Viggo Mortensen (Billy Boyd) Rating: NC-17 Summary: Everyone thinks Billy is straight. Part Eight of the Welcome to the Playground Series Disclaimer: Hey, if Viggo and Sean really did have the energy to shag everyone, and each other, like this, more power to them. And they need to bottle that energy & sell it. "At the mercy cat is out Drop the disguise... And now, what you've all been waiting for" --Metallica Billy twisted back in his chair, a frown marring his normally easy-going features. "I must be the ugliest member of the cast," he mourned into his glass of lager. "What?" came Orlando's shocked reply. "'Course you're not." He peered at his friend over his own pint, took a sip. "What in the world are you talking about?" "Them." "Who?" "You know." Billy's voice was one big groan of misery that Orlando had no problem hearing, even over the din of the noisy pub. "Honestly, I think that damn wig must be rubbing off on me," Orlando replied, mostly to himself. "Who's them?" "Viggo and Sean." Billy sighed their names, took a long pull off his beer. "Bleedin' cunts don't even acknowledge me." "That's 'cause you're straight, mate." Orlando's answer was cheerful as he leaned over the table to slap his friend on the back. "Why would they acknowledge you?" Billy jerked the hand off of him as he straightened, green eyes peering at his friend in shock. "I am not straight." The statement hit Orlando with the force of a 2x4. "You're not?" "No, of course not. I'm bi, just like everybody else on this set. Well," Billy conceded with a grin. "Except for Hugo. He really is straight." "You're bisexual?" Orlando couldn't even wrap his brain around the concept. "Yeah, of course I am. Who told you I wasn't?" "Dom." Billy snorted, shook his head. "He's much straighter than I am." "Is he now?" "Yeah, he is. He never initiates, does he?" Billy nodded knowingly. "And I bet he doesn't know the tongue trick." "Tongue trick?" Billy laughed at Orlando's wide-eyed expression. "Yes," he nodded again, the movement emphatic. "Tongue trick." "You never told me you knew a tongue trick." "You never bloody asked. It's not like I just do it for any poor sot." "I'm not any poor sot," Orlando protested, sloshing his pint as he stabbed a hand out at Billy. "I'm your mate." "Aye, that you are. But, you're not them." He pointed to the pool table, where Sean and Viggo were once again good-naturedly arguing over a shot. The two of them argued over every game. Probably because they were always betting on it. Should be illegal to look that good, Billy thought. Both of them all tall and beautiful and built. Orlando's eyes softened with memory. "No, I'm not," he sighed. "That's it." Billy stood, swaying slightly as alcohol hit. He shook his head to clear it, felt marginally better. "I'm getting a piece of this Playground action, and I'm bloody well getting it tonight." Orlando burst out laughing, the sound clear and infectious, even over the noise. "That's not how it works." Billy peered down at him through somewhat bleary eyes. "You told me it worked for you." "Well yeah." Orlando's shrug was unconsciously graceful. "That's me, though. You want to be original, right?" "Right?" Billy hated it when Orlando got an idea. "So, we'll plan." Billy all but groaned at the satisfied grin on the other man's face. * * * "This is a bloody stupid idea." "No, it's the quickest way for them to notice your non-straightness." Orlando continued pulling Billy to the pool table. Billy dug in his heels, stopped them both. "What, by making out with you? You just want to know the tongue trick. I'm onto your game." Orlando leered at Billy appreciatively. "Would you teach me?" "Maybe." Billy really hoped Orlando would forget all about it, but was pretty sure he'd never hear the end of it. "Look -- I don't see why I can't just tell them I want in on things. We're all mates, right?" "Yes, but they don't see you that way. You need to change their ideas. Now, straighten up, unbutton your shirt a little more. Here." Orlando quickly ran fingers through Billy's blond hair, tousling it. "Great. Okay, one last thing really quick. And don't hit me." Orlando's mouth was on Billy's as soon as the last words were said, and Billy could only stand there as Orlando gave him a very thorough, toe-curling, dick-dancing kiss. "Wow." Billy cleared his throat, shook his head. Damn. "That was..." "Nice, huh?" Orlando's grin was cheeky. "I learned everything from Sean." Christ on a pogo stick. All of Billy's blood rushed straight back to his dick, do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds. Sean...kissing like that...Christ. "Sean, Vig!!" Orlando called out cheerfully, dragging a now very willing Billy behind him. "Fancy a bit of competition?" Billy's breath simply caught in his throat at the two men turned. Rather like twin gods, Billy thought. Perhaps Apollo and Ares. The sun and the moon. With Sean's blond hair, bedroom eyes and graceful body contrasting with Viggo's dark locks and sculpted body made for sin...Billy knew he was getting twee, didn't care. They were magnificent. Sean and Viggo looked at each other, shrugged. "Fine, Elfboy, prepare to get your ass kicked again," Viggo said, but his grin was wide, and the kiss he bestowed on Orlando was lingering. Billy wondered exactly when it was that the pub owner had ceased raising an eyebrow at all of them. And tried very hard not to be jealous of Orlando. "Think you can beat us, Hobbit?" Billy yelped, turned, almost hit Sean's jaw with his shoulder. That low, lovely voice should be fucking illegal. Sean leaned into him and Billy had the wild thought that Sean was just going to kiss him right there, the way Viggo and Orlando were kissing. He lifted his head in anticipation as green eyes moved closer... "Have you been kissing someone?" Billy tried not to be insulted at Sean's shocked tone. And tried harder not to be disappointed. And failed miserably at both. "Yeah, me," Orlando replied, voice still breathless from Viggo's kiss. "And he was bloody fucking amazing." Billy could just feel his face getting red as the two older men looked at him. Sean moved back, stood next to Viggo, raising a blond eyebrow in question. "Really?" Viggo had the most thoughtful look on his face. "Oh yeah." Orlando sidled up to Billy, bent to his ear. "Relax and play along," he whispered and flicked his tongue out for a gentle swipe. Billy couldn't quite contain the shudder that rolled through him -- Orlando had apparently learned a great deal from Sean. Billy tried not to imagine getting the real thing. One of Orlando's hands was tracing lazy circle patterns on Billy's stomach and he willed himself to relax into the caress, bent his head back to Orlando's in a flirtatious manner. Geezers thought they had a lock on sensuality...thought they could just go around picking and choosing at will, without thought. Billy was one of the bleedin' Fellowship, he was a Brother. And he was going to show them what they'd been missing. "Now, Orlando, don't go embarrassing the old men. We all know how they feel about PDAs." He leaned up to nibble on Orlando's ear as he spoke and wondered why the hell they didn't give Oscars for real life acting, because this was surely an Award-winning performance. Viggo laughed, the sound teasing Billy's ears, making him think of dark, dangerous sex. "Yes, Sean, we all know how shy we are." Sean grinned, green eyes flashing. But still continued to regard Billy with an indescribable look on his face. "Nice to know the children are looking out for our delicate sensibilities." "While we, of course, have no such problems," Billy replied, twisting to kiss his way up Orlando's soft neck. Making the geezers wonder was turning out to be a lot of fun. Viggo opened his mouth as if to say something, closed it. Sean tilted his head, and they stepped to the side of the pool table, blond hair and brown hair tangling together as they bent heads, talking quietly. "Wonder what they're talking about?" Orlando asked, speaking aloud Billy's thought, still tracing fingers on Billy's stomach as he used Billy's shoulder to prop up his chin. Billy half-turned to him, shrugged. "Dunno. You think we've convinced them that quick-like, then?" "Could be. Karl's always going on about how when they've made up their minds, it's like lightning how fast they move." "Did they move that way with you?" "Yeah, pretty much." "God." Billy wanted that, wanted two sets of rough, calloused hands on him, bringing him to quick, furious release. Viggo and Sean walked back to the pool table. Billy went rock hard at wicked grins on two beautiful faces. "Okay, boys, we give in," Sean started, wrapping his arms around Viggo's lean waist, leaning into him. Viggo kissed Sean's forehead. "So, we're taking you up on it," he continued. Billy closed his eyes, breathed a huge sigh of relief. They'd bought it, he was actually being invited, God, he was so excited... "We'd like you both to perform for us." What?!?! Billy's eyes flew open in shock as he stared at the two men in front of him. He didn't need to be touching Orlando to know the other man was taut as a bowstring against his back. "Do what?" Orlando asked. It was good that he asked, because Billy couldn't speak. "Well, PDAs aren't a problem for you," Viggo began, running his hands up Sean's flat stomach. "And we like watching as much as the next guys," Sean continued, low, sexy voice making everything sound so intimate. It would have melted Billy's brain if he had one left. "And we've been a bit curious about Billy, anyway." "Even though we thought you were straight." Perform for them? The fuck? Fuck this, he'd had it -- everyone could go sod themselves or each other. Billy didn't care, he was going home to wank off by himself. But not before setting the lads straight, as it were, on a few things. "I am not bloody straight, you stupid gits!" he shouted. "I like shagging women. I like shagging men. That means bisexual where I come from. But, if you don't want me, fine. I don't need to be invited to your stupid Playground anyway, and I'll be cunting damned if I'm going to just perform my tongue trick on Orlando for you like a trained whore!" He didn't care that his voice had risen on the last words, didn't care that the people around him were staring, didn't care that Orlando was silently laughing behind him, holding his sides. All he cared about were the looks of shock on Viggo and Sean's too goddamn handsome faces. Cunts. "I'll see you on the set tomorrow," he finished and stalked off, pride keeping his body together. Thank God it was a short drive back to his empty house. Viggo and Sean both continued to stare at the spot where Billy had been, both with twin expressions of puzzlement on their faces. And Orlando doubled over, gasping for breath as fresh gales of laughter swept over him. "You two are so bleedin' off sometimes, you know that?" he managed to wheeze out. It would figure that Viggo would be the first one to recover. "Why do you say that?" Orlando pointed at the door, still hiccupping with laughter. "Because he wanted you, you prats." "What tongue-trick?" Sean asked. Orlando shrugged, unfazed by the sudden shift in conversation. "Dunno. Wouldn't tell me about it." Viggo slumped against Sean's back, hands splayed to stroke the maximum amount of skin. "You want to know, don't you?" His voice was tinged with resignation and curiosity. Pale green eyes winked back at him. "Come on, Vig, he's really cute when he's all scruffy and mad like that." "And he is a really good kisser," Orlando added. Hey, anything to help a friend. "What happened to our plans for an early evening?" Viggo asked, even though the argument was a very mild one. He'd already agreed to it. He always did. All he really needed to do was wrap his brain around the face that Billy -- dear, sweet Billy, who knew a tongue-trick apparently -- was not straight. Which meant that Viggo could erase the guilt he'd always felt looking at Billy's world-class ass. "Who needs an early evening, Vig?" Sean asked, small smile curving full lips. "We've got plans. Come on." * * * Billy paced, picked up a book. Threw down the book. Picked up the remote. Threw that down too. He was not in a good mood...stupid, shouldn't have said anything. Better to have them think he was straight than to have to deal with them tomorrow on set. Christ. Billy groaned, clutching his head as he sank down into soft cushions of the worn sofa. Someone should kill him now, please. Just...fuck it. Maybe he'd plead drunkenness. Or lack of brain. Alien abduction. Something. Anything would be better than the utter humiliation coursing through him right now. Stupid to think they'd want him. Nobody wanted him. He was the cute Hobbit, the funny Hobbit. He wasn't sexy (well, except for the voice...even he could admit the lads and lassies liked it), he wasn't suave. He didn't have Dom's mischievousness, Dave's beauty, Karl's sinful looks, Orlando's charm, Harry's sex on wheels attitude or Marton's amazing body. He was just Billy. Short, rumpled, balding Billy. Fuck. He should just kill himself now. The pounding on his door stopped him from contemplating that thought further. Probably Orlando, here to give sympathy. Bah. He didn't want sympathy, he wanted to get laid and it wasn't happening. Still, misery and company and all that. If he couldn't get laid, he could at least use the shoulder to cry on. "Come on in, Orlando, the door's open," he called, closing his eyes, settling against the cushions. "Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not Orlando." Billy's eyes flew open in shock. Beheld Sean and Viggo, standing in the living room, larger than life, filling the small space with sheer presence and sexual charisma. Christ. Apparently they couldn't even wait until tomorrow to begin his humiliation. "What are you two doing here?" he asked, flopping his head back again. At least this way, he wouldn't have to look at them, at all that beauty that wasn't for him. He felt a shift on the sofa as weight settled onto it. Great, now they were settling in. Staying for the duration as they laughed at him. Lovely. "We're sorry." Sean's seductive voice, right in his ear. Now he knew who was sitting beside him. "We didn't know." What was Sean talking about? The apology was nice, if unexpected, but the rest was odd. And was that Sean's hand on his thigh? Billy raised his head again, looked down. No, apparently that was Viggo's hand on his thigh. Viggo, who was kneeling between Billy's open legs. Jesus. Do not get hard, dick, do not get hard. As usual, his dick had other ideas when it came to those two. "We'd like to make it up to you," Viggo said, blue eyes intently watching him. "Our way," Sean added, leaning in to tongue the side of Billy's neck. Billy squirmed at the unexpected sensation, couldn't quite bite back the soft moan. Their way? What way was that? Billy ruthlessly suppressed the hope that started to course through him. "I'll let you buy me a pint." "No." Sean shook his head slightly. "Not like that." Billy could only watch in helpless fascination as Sean's head came closer and closer, and then, Sean's lips were on his, tongue sliding against his and fuck all if Orlando wasn't right. Kissing Sean wasn't an experience so much as it was a vortex that sucked you in and kept you there, chained to a hot mouth and hotter tongue. Scratch that, this wasn't a kiss. It was an explosion, sending tiny chain reactions across Billy's nerve-endings. And Billy allowed himself to fragment. Sean tugged Billy up on his feet, still kissing him, and now he felt heat on his back as Viggo leaned into him, over his shoulder, ran his tongue over Billy's shoulder, the back of his neck. Christ, fuck...Billy moaned in Sean's mouth, lost in the kiss, the feel of hands on him. And then he felt another tongue touch his, moaned a bit more. Viggo had decided to join the kiss. Lovely, wonderful, the more the merrier. Fuck all, but kissing the two of them was beyond words. Two soft tongues dueling with his, two sets of lips sliding over his...yes, God, yes. Melting, he was melting, clothes were melting...naked skin under his hands. When the hell had that happened? Didn't matter, thank God they were naked. Thank God he could finally feel soft skin and hard muscle beneath his fingers. Billy fell back with Sean onto the sofa again, Sean's arms still wrapped around him. He landed between Sean's thighs, felt Sean's erection pressed up against his lower back, felt a leanly muscled chest press into him, felt Sean's lips on his nape. Viggo knelt in front of him, also naked...God, Viggo looked great naked. All tanned and dark and rippling with grace. Billy's heart stopped when Viggo leaned down, breath hot and heavy against Billy's hard cock. "Let us make it up to you," Viggo said again, saying the words along his rigid length. And oh...oh...bloody hell...Billy was slammed, tilted, thrown into a maelstrom of wet as Viggo lowered his mouth on his cock. Sean reached around him, hands splayed across his chest, fingers rubbing hard nipples into painful awareness, mouth still sucking on his neck while Viggo continued to work his oral magic on Billy's very happy dick. This wasn't a blowjob, it was a hurricane. Fast and furious, filled with soft swipes of tongue, bold delving of that mouth, rough fingers curling around the base of his penis, stroking in time to Viggo's movements. Goddamn, goddamn...Billy clutched hands in Viggo's silky hair, arched into Sean's chest, thrusting hips upward in desperate movements. Sean pulled his chin back, captured his lips again, and God...just, fuck, that tongue, those lips, that mouth sucking him dry, and he wasn't quite sure whose mouth he wanted more, whose tongue he wanted more. All he knew was he wanted. Viggo moved faster now, fingers still gliding, the other hand massaging Billy's aching balls. Billy was gasping, desperate for air, trying to breathe, couldn't because Sean wasn't letting go of his mouth, sucked his tongue the way Viggo sucked his cock, in perfect synchronicity, and it was just the best feeling, just the... "Fuck!" Billy came hot and hard in Viggo's mouth, under Sean's mouth, and they both swallowed him whole. Viggo milked every drop of semen with a satisfied groan, and Sean sucked every twitch, every moan from Billy's lips like it was a life-saving essence. Billy sank back into Sean's chest once more, lethargic, brain buzzing. And Sean's kiss turned gentle, soft, soothing as Viggo kissed his penis one more time, bestowed butterfly kisses on his balls, ran his open mouth up Billy's stomach, chest, neck and finally to his lips to join the kiss again. Better than a mere kiss, better than heaven...Billy sank into loving caresses and the sweet taste of sated need. Finally, Sean and Viggo pulled back, and Viggo couldn't help but smile at the blissfully confused look on Billy's face. Not that Billy cared. "Gentlemen, if this is your idea of making up, you can humiliate me anytime you like," he breathed, arching into Sean's still busily roaming hands. Viggo smiled, kissed each of Billy's hardened nipples. "We'll just skip the humiliation portion next time, alright?" "Fine." Whatever, do what you want. Just don't stop, don't...God. Viggo's hands had moved back to Billy's thighs, his cock, and were stroking him into full hardness again with gentle fingers. "Again?" Billy asked, somewhat stupidly, he knew. Hell, he was up for it, could spend the rest of the evening doing whatever, whenever, as long as it involved the two of them. And all that nakedness he had yet to explore. "So, about this tongue trick of yours?" Sean asked, breathing the words against his mouth, smiling as he flicked his tongue across Billy's open lips. Billy could only laugh. Well, if anyone deserved it, he supposed it would be the geezers. And so he demonstrated it to the both of them. Onto Wanted Main Welcome to the Playground page If you enjoyed this fic, please leave feedback here. Thanks!