"What?" Orlando shifted uncomfortably in his chair, slid his mug of beer between his hands. Stared across the table at Dom, who was looking at him as if Orlando had just announced that he was contemplating...um, well, something really shocking. Which this wasn't, mind. Just a thought. "Y'know...d'you sometimes, well, think on it?" Orlando asked. "What it would be like, I mean?" Dom frowned and scratched his head, brows furrowing. Orlando thought it made them look like mating caterpillars. "Why d'you want to be a girl? Girls don't have penises, see. Having a penis is the best thing about being alive." Dom nodded decisively, as if this settled the matter. "I don't want to be a girl, ye daft bastard. I was just --" "Wondering if I ever thought about being a girl. Which you obviously have. Ergo, you want to be a girl. Why?" "I do not --" Orlando gritted his teeth, then expelled a deep, calming breath. Everything Zen. Right. "Forget it." Dom leaned in, unholy gleam lighting his eyes. "Look, is this about the getting fucked thing? 'Cause, y'know, we could do it," he nodded. "I could, I mean. If that's what you --" "It's not about that and hush," Orlando hissed, clamping a hand over Dom's and squeezing. Whole fucking pub would overhear them the way Dom's voice carried. "Christ's sake. You've no fucking tact at all." "Which is why we love him." Karl flopped in the empty seat next to Dom, beer in hand, and looked at Orlando. "So, why the whispering, boys?" he asked, glancing around, then back at them, dropping his own voice and leaning in. Dom pointed, using his beer mug as emphasis. "Orlando over here wants to be a girl. Or get fucked like one, I'm not sure." "You do, hmm?" Orlando just managed not to squirm under Karl's speculative look. "Certainly pretty enough, in the right light." "If you like stubble," Dom replied with a grin. "Which I might, young hobbit, which I might." Patience, Orlando, patience. He tried another deep breath. And another glare. "Look, could we just? Talk about something...anything...else. Please?" Karl smiled, but it wasn't as wicked as before. "Go on, then. No teasing. Why d'ya want to be a girl?" "I don't. I just think sometimes..." Orlando shrugged. "They do smell pretty," Karl said. "Might be nice to have tits." Dom rubbed a hand over his chest in pseudo porn-star fashion. "I'd probably spend all day playing with my nipples, though." "You play all day with your dick anyway, so what's the difference?" Karl grinned, and wiped the foam from his lower lip with the back of his hand. Dom smacked him across the arm, then poured himself another glass. "Coming multiple times would be kinda cool," he speculated. "Can you imagine?" Karl gave a lusty sigh. "I'd probably just sit in front of a mirror and play with myself all day." Dom grinned, wide and cheeky. "I hear you do that anyway." Karl rubbed his knuckles across Dom's head. "Been peeking into my trailer again, have we?" "Ow, quit it." Dom ducked under Karl's hand and squirmed away. "Orlando, oi. We're having a conversation here." He snapped his fingers in front of Orlando's face. "What're you looking at?" Orlando picked up his beer and nodded at a spot behind them. "The reason, gentlemen, that I want to be a girl sometimes." Both Karl and Dom twisted in their seats. Two sets of eyes widened. "Oh, fuck me, that's beautiful," Karl breathed, beer paused halfway to his lips. "Jesus." Dom craned his neck even more, mouth hanging open. "Is that Sarah's hand on Liv's breast?" he squeaked. "Holy fuck, I've been trying to go there for months, man." Orlando just smirked.
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