Just another thing in his life that had spiraled hopelessly out of control. "Dommie." A soft touch on his wrist stopped his musings and deep blue eyes stared back at him. Sonnets were being written daily about Elijah Wood's eyes, but the full sledgehammer impact of them never truly hit you until you saw them up close. And there it was -- boom -- and you'd do any fucking thing for them. No matter how much you didn't want to. "You okay?" "Yeah, yeah." Fine, peachy, that was Dominic Monaghan. Everything was great in his life, everything was cool. So why the fuck did he feel like something was missing? *** Airline time stretched out into infinity beyond him. Dom sighed, tried to get into the book he was reading, the CD in his personal player...but couldn't. The words on the page had no meaning, the songs were only a blur of background noise. It was going to be a long fucking flight to Japan if he couldn't keep himself amused. He wondered where Orlando was. Some of that effervescence and madcap attitude would be most welcome right about now. Dom looked around -- didn't see his friend in the forward compartment. Perhaps he was napping. Or trying to get Sean to join the Mile High Club. Orlando always equated boredom with sex, and he and Sean had a rather loose, flirty, fuck-buddy type of thing going on. Hard to describe, really. They both still seemed to like women just fine -- they just liked shagging each other on occasion. Dom supposed he would never understand it, but he envied their uncomplicated, easy relationship all the same. His own with Elijah was a tangled web of epic proportions. When had it become easier to coast along than to try and change his life? Dom still couldn't quite put his finger on when it all started going wrong. He and Elijah had just sort of drifted together during the shoot. Two young men looking for something in someone and hoping the other would provide it. It was a piss-poor way to run a relationship, but there you were. And they'd just stayed together after filming was wrapped. Dom had moved to L.A. to be with Elijah and to seek out that still elusive Hollywood fame. It wasn't that he didn't love Elijah. He did. Whole heart and all that twee stuff. It was impossible not to love him. But Dom was beginning to think that love just wasn't enough. He needed more. He just didn't know what. Bugger it. Contemplative psycho-babble and a pre-mid-life crisis at the ripe old age of 25. How goddamn Gen X of him, how self-aware. Dom unfastened his seat belt, stood and stretched. Maybe he'd see what Liv was up to, or Barrie. He needed conversation, not contemplation. He just hated flying. He'd be fine as soon as the plane landed. *** He was going to die. He knew it. There was no way in the goddamn world the plane was going to survive this storm. Dom ran a list down of all the things he'd never gotten a chance to do, all the people he never called back, all the things he'd never apologized for...fuck. Don't let me die, don't let me die, don't... The plane lurched again and Dom's stomach lurched along with it. He didn't want to die. Not yet, anyway. He still had plans, had things to accomplish, a life to lead. So much left unsaid, so many things he might have changed... He jumped at the touch. Pale green eyes stared down at him, full of concern. "You okay, Dom?" Sean asked. "Hmm, yeah, fine." But he couldn't disguise the tremble in his voice or the trembling in his limbs. Sean sat beside him, warm body close, put a friendly arm around Dom's shoulders. Dom instinctively curled into him, needing the human contact. Odd that he never even thought of waking the sleeping Elijah, who was across the aisle, sprawled on the seats and softly snoring. Dom and Sean just sat, silently listening to the wind just outside the plane, the sounds of the storm. Dom felt the steady heartbeat of the man against him. The sound soothed, calmed, as did the secure arm around him. "Feel better?" A Yorkshire accent rumbled in Dom's ear. "Yeah, yeah, thanks." Dom made a move to sit up, but was stopped when Sean tightened his hold. "No, it's okay, you're fine." And then Dom remembered that Sean also hated to fly and maybe needed the reassurance as much as Dom did. The thought eased his embarrassment, and he settled back down on Sean's chest. How cool to have friends you could be silent with, sharing nothing more than body contact. He and Elijah had never had that kind of relationship. They'd always had to fill it with laughter and light and sound and noise and activity. Anything to disguise the fact that they had nothing to say to each other any more. Dom had gained a lover and lost a friend. He missed the friend more. *** Dom was wired, antsy, bored out of his fucking skull and not caring who knew it by the time they'd landed. God save him from trans-Pacific flights. He was never getting on a plane again, they were just going to have to send a cruise ship for him to get him back to England for the Empire Awards. Yeah, so what if it sounded movie-star petulant. He was in a mood to be unreasonable and demanding. Everyone else seemed to be in the same jumpy mood because they all congregated in the bar just as soon as they'd checked into their respective hotel rooms. Orlando was a goddamn whirlwind, talking a mile a minute to four British tourists who were up at the bar, cigarette waving wildly in one hand and a glass of deep red wine sloshing in the other. Damn, he really was beautiful. It was painful sometimes, looking at him. Dom wondered what it must be like to live in that skin, in all that beauty, all the time. Did it ever get boring, did it ever get old? Orlando never said, and Dom never asked. Liv and Barrie were laughing with Elijah at one of the dimly lit tables in the corner. Elijah had spotted him immediately. It was like he had a radar that was just…in tune with Dom somehow. And most of the time it was cool, but, tonight, for some odd reason, it just set Dom off. He didn't feel like laughing at Barrie's bad jokes, Liv's attempts to be serious, Elijah's attempts to fix whatever was wrong with Dom with affection. He just wanted a drink. But, of course, he smiled at Elijah...couldn't let those blue eyes down...and walked to the bar, traded good-natured quips with Orlando while waiting to get his glass of lager. "You wanna go someplace?" Again, the soft Yorkshire accent in his ear curled his toes with its intimacy. Dom turned, saw Sean behind him, grinning. "Beg your pardon?" Dom asked. "I'm edgy," Sean said. "Don't feel much like staying here. Never seen Japan. Thought you might want to join me." Faced with the prospect of staying in the small, crowded, claustrophobic bar or heading out to get some fresh air and do a bit of sight-seeing...no contest. "Sure," Dom said, and walked away from his untouched glass of beer. His eyes found Elijah's as he followed Sean out the door, and Elijah gave him a thumbs up and a sunny wave. Such a dear boy, so perceptive, knew that Dom was too restless to stay inside. He followed Sean outside, noticed it was drizzling, hardly more than a mist, but enough that the streets were slick and the skyline had this vague Blade Runner-esque look to it that Dom just found fascinating. This was so different from England, so different than L.A., so different than any place Dom had ever been. At once exotic and familiar, safe and dangerous. It fit in well with Dom's current mood. Sean didn't seem to mind that Dom wasn't saying much, that he wasn't being all outrageous and out-there and typical Monaghan. It was just so nice to walk and not say anything, to just be in the moment and not worry about how the other person would interpret it. It was enough that Sean was just...there. They walked for hours in the mist, in the gloom, stopping to stare, explore, shop, soak in the atmosphere. They ate lunch at some tiny little deli with loud chatter and louder smells of fish and seafood, and Dom just let the rightness of the place wash over him. The sushi tasted better than anything he'd ever eaten -- whether it was the place or the man beside him or the knowledge that he was finally doing something different, something real, Dom didn't know. If he couldn't find a solution to his worries, his troubles, to the thoughts constantly intruding his brain, then he could find a way to enjoy what few peaceful moments he did have. He was suddenly insanely grateful to Sean for asking him along. He opened his mouth to tell Sean...well, something. But didn't. Because Sean just looked back at him and grinned, the smile crinkling up the corners of those remarkable eyes. And Dom knew that Sean knew. No words were needed. ***
God, what he wouldn't give for an informative question, something thought-out, something different. Of course he loved working on the movie, of course it sucked being up at the butt-crack of dawn to put on the feet, of course the hours were long, of course they'd thought about the fans while making the movie, were aware of the significance of what they were doing. That was part of the reason they'd done it, wasn't it? So they could make a small slice of history? So they could mold this classic piece of literature into their image? But of course, everyone gave their answers, everyone was polite -- a side benefit of having so many Brits and Aussies and Kiwis in the cast. It was a wonder they hadn't killed each other with kindness during the shoot. Not that there hadn't been words and shouting matches and tempers flaring. But it was all over so quickly, all glossed over in a moment. Nothing was ever really cleared, nothing really resolved in the rush to make things right, to smooth things over. Dom was guilty of the same thing in his dealings with Elijah... God, Elijah, always Elijah, it all came back to the small bundle of energy Dom called his lover, those blue eyes that Dom could never deny. Something had to change. One of them was going to have to do something, or they would lose the friendship they'd had. And Dom couldn't lose it. These men were his brothers. His kin. As close to him as blood. And staying with Elijah was killing him, killing them both. "…the Fellowship pulled each other through…helped each other…" Sean talking, in that lovely, low voice of his. Once again, saying what Dom couldn't. Yes, yes, they'd been there for each other. Always. A bond that could not be broken. Just the Nine of them and their incredible love for each other. How had Dom managed to let that love taint his relationship with Elijah? Why had he wanted something else, something more? Enough, Dom, enough. Get out of your fucking head. Good Christ, you're supposed to be on right now, you're supposed to be happy and energetic and giving back to the fans of the film. So fucking do it already. And so he teased, he joked, he made plans to go sight-seeing with Elijah later in the day, tried to forget that his world was unraveling, tried to block out the reason he was so restless. Elijah sat next to him, playing social butterfly, chatting with Liv, with Orlando between questions, and it was easy to forget that there was anything wrong with them, easy to forget everything in laughing blue eyes and a sunny smile. Sean was answering some stupid question about the movie's relevance in today's society, actually giving it more weight and thought than the question deserved. But, that was Bean for you -- always thoughtful, always polite. He'd been just as thoughtful the day before, when it had been just the two of them and the Tokyo rain falling about them as they'd wandered along the streets. Dom once again thought of that nameless sushi bar and the feeling of rare contentment he'd had. So hard to get it back. Why was his happiness so ephemeral? Elijah was talking now, talking about the Ring and what he'd do if he could be invisible, and it was a fun answer, a typical Elijah answer, something breezy, yet personal. How did he do it? Dom wondered if all child actors had that ability to reveal everything and nothing. He should ask Astin. Perhaps if Dom understood Elijah better, he'd understand himself better, understand this relationship better. Fuck...he was thinking again. Thankfully someone asked him a question. Kind of a stupid one, but, that was okay. Dom could deal with stupid. What character did he want to be? Well, that was easy. "Arwen," he said, still on for the cameras, still playing the mischievous sprite. "Those dresses..." He accepted the laughter as part of his due, shared a quick wink with Elijah, caught Liv's smothered chuckle. And managed to laugh out loud when Orlando claimed he wanted to be 'Viiiigggoooo'. The way Orlando had always pronounced Viggo's name had been a source of constant amusement on set from day one. The two of them loved joking with each other. Just another easy relationship Dom didn't have. Fuck, was everything in his life doomed to be complicated? "Actually, I heard that Dom wanted to be Kirin," Barrie was saying, smiling as he looked down. Oh yeah, Kirin. Great guy. And Dom so talked about Kirin, talked about his friend and it was cool, it was fine. His life was good, it was, it really was. He had all he ever needed. Elijah touched his arm gently as he finished speaking, and yes, it was good, it was comforting. He smiled at Elijah, smiled into those pure blue eyes. "Kirin?" Sean asked, his voice low, teasing. "Yeah, he's a good guy," Dom whispered back, bringing his head around. "He used to hide my shield before filming. Kept telling me I didn't need it, since I was going to die anyway." Dom gave a small laugh. "I know, Sean. I used to help him." "Cheeky bastard." And then Sean smiled at him, just smiled that tiny grin he'd bestowed on Dom a thousand times before, and something... ...just ...changed. Dom glanced at Sean, once, twice...a third time. Still the same Bean. Still the same man. Which meant it must be Dom that changed. In the space of a heartbeat, in between inhaling and exhaling, he'd fallen in love with one of his very best friends. And it had been as natural as taking that breath, as the blood that flowed from that heart. Christ, how long had he felt this way? Stunned, he could only stare ahead, the din in the room dimming to a low buzz. Christ. Fuck. No, no...yes. He was. Stop lying to yourself, Dom, you've been lying to yourself for months, maybe even years. You love Sean. Sean, with his lazy smile and love for silence. Sean, with his calm demeanor and laid-back attitude. Sean, with his quiet intensity and ability to know what you need before you know you need it. Dom thought of a thousand different things over the course of filming, and over the last year...thought about all the times Sean had been there for him, had shared with him. And Dom thought about the fact that he'd managed to say more in the silences he'd shared with Sean than in the hundreds of conversations he'd had with Elijah. What the hell was he going to do now? *** The rest of the conference passed in a blur, which was good, because Dom was still so wrapped up in his thoughts, in this fucking out-of-the-blue revelation, that he wouldn't have noticed if the fucking hotel had caught on fire. Thankfully, no one asked him anything of any real importance. He could have given most of his answers in his sleep. What was he going to do? What could he do? Yeah, great, he was in love with Sean, had been for God knows how long, maybe. Changed nothing. Sean didn't really swing that way, he had daughters, ex-wives, an unabashed appreciation for women. Yeah, okay, and Orlando. So, maybe he did swing that way, or maybe it was just Orlando and all that beauty. Orlando was certainly pretty enough. Everyone who ever met him loved him, wanted him, Dom included. Thankfully, Orlando was pretty oblivious to most of it. Must be a trait of the truly beautiful people in this world that they were so sublimely unaware of the impact they had on others. And, ah yes, speaking of pure beauty, there was Elijah staring at him through crystal blue eyes, small body fairly crackling with energy, with the need to go out, do something, explore. How the hell was he going to tell Elijah? What was he going to tell Elijah? 'Sorry, I'm not in love with you, don't think I ever was, don't know if I ever could be and, while I'm breaking your heart and mine, I'm in love with Sean, who isn't interested in me that way'...yes, that would go over really well. Dom sighed, managed a small smile for Elijah as they went to their separate rooms and agreed to meet in a half hour. Still had that sight-seeing to do before they set out for England tomorrow. The whirlwind Far East trip. The jet-set lifestyle was definitely not for Dom. It probably had something to do with the hating the 'jet' part of it all. Dom showered, changed clothes, started trying to comb out the tangles in hair that almost always remained spiky, no matter what he did with it. And tried not to think, really he did, because his thoughts were driving him crazy, and he didn't have any answers anyway. None. His life was a mess, and he didn't know how to fix it. He caught his reflection in the dresser mirror. God, who was that pale creature? Couldn't be him. His skin wasn't that sallow, his eyes weren't that haunted. When had this happened? When had he changed so drastically that it was starting to be physical? Why couldn't he just go back to last week, last year, to fucking yesterday even? Back to comfortable, back to safe? A soft knock on the door distracted him from answering. Good, because he didn't have an answer to that either. He opened the door. Elijah stood there, also showered and changed, with his own mop of dark hair sticking up in all kinds of directions. And, looking at him there, so friendly, so open, so goddamn Elijah... Dom just couldn't do it anymore. He just didn't have the energy to do it another minute. "What's wrong?" Elijah asked softly. He touched Dom on the arm again, the way he always did, for assurance, for comfort. And Dom just started crying. And he never cried. Ever. Hadn't cried when he broke his arm when he was twelve, hadn't cried when his mum got really sick that one time, hadn't cried when George Harrison, his hero, died. But now, with that soft hand on his arm and the love in those blue eyes...it was just too much. Elijah shut the door, led Dom over to the bed. And just held him awkwardly as he cried, held him against that safe, familiar chest, held him in friendly, loving arms. How odd that now the silence could be good with Elijah, now that Dom had decided it was over. "I'm sorry," Dom said, long minutes later, lifting his head and rubbing his eyes with the ball of his hand. "I, um, I'm sorry...I can't do this anymore...we have to end it before it ends us." He blurted the words out in one tangled rush, needing to get them out before he changed his mind, before he had a chance to talk himself out of it. Elijah sat there, arms still around Dom, and his body shook with his deep sigh. "I know, Dom. I know." "You do?" Dom pulled back, looked into Elijah's eyes. And saw sad acceptance. "Yeah, I guess you do. How?" "I don't know, I just knew," Elijah answered in a soft voice. "But I couldn't say anything. I didn't have the courage. I'm glad that you did." And one of those soft hands was on his cheek in a loving gesture. "You also need to find the courage to tell him." "Tell who?" "Tell Sean." Dear God. Dom just sat there, staring at Elijah. How the hell had he known what Dom hadn't? How had he seen what Dom couldn't? "How...?" he began, and was stopped by a shake of Elijah's head. "I think I've always known you were in love with him." "I didn't even know until earlier today." "No, you knew. You were just afraid to admit it. It's hard to change your life, hard to do something different, something else. And I'm sorry that I held you back, kept you from being who you were meant to be." Dom crushed Elijah to him in a fierce hug. "No, you never held me back," he whispered to the other man, his tone passionate. "Ever. I held myself back. And I let us both down." Elijah smiled against Dom's neck, pulled back. "So, don't do it now. Go to him. Tell him. Don't hold yourself back." The thought alone had Dom terrified. Tell him... "I don't want to fuck up what we have." "Life is about change. And you've changed, whether you see it or not. And it will change how you deal with him. What you had is already gone. It's time to see if you can have something else." Dom smiled, took a long look at his friend, his lover. "When did you get to be wise?" Elijah shrugged, winked. "I've been taking lessons from Ian. Now, go. Tell him. Tell him now before you can think of what to say and how to say it." Dom folded Elijah in his arms for another long embrace, gave him one last, lingering kiss. "I love you. Never doubt that." "I know. I love you too. And I am always here for you." "Okay." Dom stood, tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. And walked out the door. The future could hold a thousand different possibilities, not all of them good, but, right now, at this moment, Dom was happy. And, for the first time in a long time, he felt anticipation. ***
Christ, what the fuck was he thinking? Glass slippers? Cinderella? He was losing his mind. He needed to go back down the hall, back to his room, back to the way things were, and pretend that none of this had ever happened. Except, it had happened. It was real. He was going to have to deal with it at some point. He'd taken the first step, ended things with Elijah while there was still friendship between them and love and trust. God, could he start something with Sean and still have that same thing? Would there still be friendship and love and trust once Sean knew the truth? Fuck, all this thinking was making Dom crazy. He couldn't do this. He wasn't cut out for introspection; he was a man of action, someone who did things. And yet, over the last few months, he hadn't really done anything, just allowed things to happen. And, yes, maybe this was a bad idea, and maybe he would fuck up his friendship with Sean, but Elijah had given him a gift. He couldn't just throw it away because he was scared. And he was scared. Terrified. Quaking deep in his pores. No, loving Sean wasn't going to make the rest of his life suddenly okay, and yes, he still had to deal with the quagmire the rest of his life had become, and he really needed to do something about this melancholy that seemed to pervade his every thought. And he really fucking needed to start taking control of his life again. Telling Sean would be a good first step. No, he couldn't control how Sean felt about him…but he could control whether or not Sean knew. And Dom felt he owed it to both of them to give Sean a choice. Except...what if Sean didn't want the choice? What if Sean was happy? And what about Orlando in all this? Why had Dom not taken Orlando into consideration? Christ, he was Sean's sometime lover and no matter what, Dom's admission was bound to change something. Jesus. Dom just wanted something simple. Something easy. Something that would help him, ease his days, calm his mind. He had no idea who he was any more and didn't like the moody fuck he'd become. It was time to be himself again. So, why the hell did he feel like he needed Sean to be that person? Dom didn't know how long he stood there, hand poised to knock on Sean's door while thought after thought raced through his head, each one tearing down newly built courage. He couldn't do this. He had to think of something to say. How to say it. He'd come back tomorrow. "Were you ever going to knock?" Shock had Dom yelping and stumbling into the door before he righted himself and stared into the face of the one man he really, really didn't want to see right now. Sean's amused pale green eyes looked back at him, as he stood in the hallway, crossing his arms over one another. "I'm not in," he continued. "I..." Christ, think Dom. Think. "I see that." Well, that was stellar. This would be sure to impress him. Not that he needed to impress Sean. He already knew all of Dom's stupid little secrets, all of his quirks, his bad habits. Rather hard to impress someone who knew you snored, know what you looked like at 5am, knew that you were meticulous about how you spread jam on your toast, knew... A snap of fingers in his face jolted him back to the now. "You okay?" All he could do was nod. He was fine. He'd be fine. He hoped. "Good. Did you actually want to come in?" Another nod. Fucking hell, why couldn't he speak? "Alright, fine. Play the strong, silent type." Sean smiled at him again as he fished his room key out of his pocket and opened the door. "Want anything to drink?" Dom nodded again, seemed to be completely incapable of doing anything else as he followed Sean into the room. And just stood there, frozen in the foyer as he tried to calm erratic nerves. Christ, Dom, it's just Sean, still Sean, still the same man he was this morning, and you're still the same person except, of course, now you know how you feel and it changes everything, and change isn't always a good thing, sometimes changes sucked, and this was a big fucking mistake. Sean walked over to the mini-fridge, turned to Dom. "What do you want?" "You." The word was out before he could stop it and he blinked, open-mouthed, shocked, horrified. No...he hadn't just said that. He hadn't. Christ. "What?" "I'm sorry, forget it, I should leave." Dom turned to go and was stopped by Sean's hand on him arm, strong fingers preventing him from escaping. "Dom, what in fuck all is going on?" Sean looked so concerned, so friendly. Dom couldn't bear to lose that. Friendship meant more, it would have to be enough. "Nothing, it's stupid, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, but it was all Elijah's fault, and it doesn't matter, and you have Orlando anyway, and I don't know how I could compete with that, so forget it." Jesus, he should just shoot himself before he opened his mouth again. "Compete with Orlando? For what? Are you alright?" "Yes, I'm fine, I'm great, I'm Dominic Monaghan, Crown Prince of Peachy." "Okay." Sean just kept looking at Dom like he wanted to say something else. And his hand was starting to burn through Dom's shirt. God, he was so pathetic. "So, what does Orlando have to do with anything?" Sean asked. Do not babble, do not babble, don't look into those eyes and lose every thought... "Well, he's got you and I don't, and that's okay 'cause he's a great friend and I'm happy for him and for you, of course, and..." Dom's tirade was abruptly cut off by Sean's lips on his. Bloody fucking hell. He was dreaming, had to be dreaming, Sean wasn't kissing him, wasn't slowly rubbing his lips on Dom's, wasn't coaxing his mouth open to run his tongue along Dom's teeth. He wasn't pulling Dom closer to him, wasn't enfolding him in his arms, wasn't holding him close against that leanly muscled body. This wasn't happening. Sean lifted his head. And smiled that familiar smile that now jolted Dom's heart "You talk entirely too much sometimes, you know that, don't you?" Dom nodded again, too stunned to form words. He should just leave the room and replace his body with one of those bobbing head dolls. It would be about the same damn thing, the way he kept nodding. "I'm not reading this wrong, I hope?" There was a vulnerability in Sean's question that snared Dom's heart all over again. This time he managed to shake his head. Hey, at least it was something different. "I just thought that you and Elijah..." Sean trailed off, shrugged. And, finally, fucking Christ, finally Dom found his voice. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Me and Elijah, DomElijah, closer than brothers, Hobbits forever. I've heard it all a thousand times." He stopped, gave a tiny laugh, a small shrug. "And I do love him, always have, always will. But I'm not meant to be with him and trying to force that was destroying us." Sean nodded thoughtfully. He still had his hands on Dom's waist, and it was really nice; his hands were so warm. "So, what brought you to my door, then?" And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the million dollar question. "I don't honestly know," Dom replied, giving into the urge to wrap his arms around Sean's solid waist and place his head against that lovely chest. He listened to the steady sound of Sean's heart for a few minutes, tried once again to think of some words that wouldn't make him sound like any more of a git than he'd already been. "I just...well, you see," Dom started, shook his head. "Scratch that. You know how sometimes life just...I dunno, throws you for a bit of a loop?" Dom could feel Sean's rumbly laughter against his ear. "Yeah, I think I'm aware of that." "Well, I had one of those moments today." Courage, Dom, just fucking say it. You've come this far, go for broke. "I realized that I'm in love with you." Sean's hands, which had been making lazy circle patterns on Dom's back, now stilled. One of those hands reached up and lifted Dom's chin. "Say that again." Sean's voice was a little hoarse. "I'm in love with you," Dom said, looking into those light eyes. "That simple. Except it's not simple, nothing is fucking simple, and I'm sorry if I shocked you, and I'm sorry if this ruins our friendship, and I'm sorry if this isn't what you want, but I thought you should know, even though I'm sure it's going to change things, and I'm sorry for that and..." "Jesus Christ, Dommie, would you just hush for a minute?" Sean exclaimed. Mute, Dom just nodded again. "You know, you've got to learn to slow down when you speak." "I'm sor..." "And stop apologizing, dammit," Sean said, interrupting him. "I'm still trying to come to terms with you loving me." "It changes things," Dom said, miserably. Fuck. This was it, then, the end of things. All because he was stupid enough to listen to Elijah, stupid enough to listen to his heart over his head. "Yes it does," Sean agreed. Dom made a move to leave and, once again, Sean tightened his embrace. "I didn't say that was a bad thing." The first tentacles of hope started to wind their way into Dom's wary brain. "Then what are you saying?" And held his breath waiting for the answer. "I don't know," Sean replied, sighing. "I don't have any bloody answers. And if you think I do, then you're going about life the entire wrong way." Patient green eyes looked into him. "People aren't in your life to give you answers. They're there to give you questions. The answers are for you to figure out." And what if Dom was too stupid to figure them out? And what if there weren't any answers? And what happened when he and Sean finally walked outside this door? What about Orlando and Elijah and the 15 year age difference and the fact that Sean lived in London and Dom in L.A.? "But what about...?" "Enough. We'll deal with it," Sean said, seeming to read Dom's mind. He bent his head, placed those soft lips back on Dom's, gave him new life, a miracle in the sweetest of kisses. "I like you, Dom. I really do." Sean put Dom's head back on his shoulder, leaned his cheek against Dom's hair. "I like sharing the silence with you." Dom swallowed, bit his lip to keep from crying again. How could he not love this man? Sean understood. He got it. "Me too," he managed to say. "Then we'll just see where that takes us." Sighing, Dom nodded. Sean was right. All of Dom's million questions could wait. And maybe some of them would be answered and maybe some of them wouldn't. And maybe Dom's life wouldn't really get better, maybe it would get worse. And maybe Sean would trample his heart. At least he wouldn't be letting life slip by. He'd be an active participant in his heartbreak. "Dom?" He looked up. Sean's familiar, beloved face looked down at him. "Do me a favor?" He swallowed at the look of raw need in Sean's eyes. "Sure." Sean leaned into Dom's mouth, nipped gently on his lower lip. "Stop thinking." "I'll try." "Let me see if I can make sure of it." And damned if Sean's next kiss didn't wipe all thought, all questions from Dom's brain. Sometimes just being was enough.
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