"Mmm." The answer was automatic. Orlando glanced at the man next to him in the bed. Several pillows propped up Viggo as he looked over a script, marking through lines and highlighting, clearly not hearing a single word Orlando had been saying to him. "I asked you a question." "What's that?" Sighing, Orlando repeated himself. Something he hated doing. "Have you ever heard of slash?" Viggo didn't even look up. "Sure, horror films, right?" Orlando rolled his eyes, tapped the script with a long finger, waited until Viggo's eyes rested on him. "Pay attention, old man, I'm trying to have a discussion here." Viggo set the papers down on his lap. "So talk." "Slash...have you ever heard of it?" "For the purposes of expediency, let's just assume I haven't and move on from there, alright?" "Well, it's this genre of fiction involving same sex relationships," Orlando started to explain, only to be interrupted by a chuckle. "Gay sex, Orli, you can say it. You do it often enough." Orlando counted to ten. Twice. "Anyway, it's fan fiction. And there's a lot of it involving us." "Us?" "Yeah. There's a whole boatload of sites and lists devoted to our characters from Lord of the Rings, and there's a whole bunch more involving the real us. The actors," Orlando clarified, noting Viggo's blank expression. "Uh huh." "Yeah, there's even a whole series about you and Sean." At that bit, Viggo looked a lot more interested in the conversation. "Yeah?" Orlando smirked. "Thought that would get your attention. The two of you shag every male member of the cast practically, except John." "Hmmph, shows what these writers know," Viggo grinned. "He obviously --" "She." "What?" "Most of these slash writers are women," Orlando explained. Just like an expert. Which he hadn't been until yesterday. Viggo's brow wrinkled in confusion. He looked so cute like that. "What the fuck do women know about gay sex?" "Apparently a lot, from what I've read," Orlando shrugged, rolling over on his side. "You were saying?" "Yeah, well, apparently she didn't hear about the time I tied John down and covered his cock in honey and--" "You didn't do that to John, Vig," Orlando interrupted with a laugh. "You did that to me." "So I did." Viggo's wink was slow. "Wanna do it again?" "Sure, in a minute." Viggo leaned over and placed his hand on Orlando's forehead. "You feeling okay?" Orlando squirmed out of the touch, glaring. "Why? Just cause I'm saying 'in a minute'?" "This has got to be the first time I've ever seen you turn down sex." "I'm not turning it down," Orlando pointed out, very pleased with himself. "I merely said in a minute." He frowned, wrinkled his nose. "Although, you know, maybe these chicks are onto something. I am a slut." "Yes, but you're my slut. Okay, mine and Sean's," Viggo amended, when Orlando raised an eyebrow. "So, anyway," Orlando dragged out the word until it was practically its own sentence, "Dom reads all this stuff..." "Dom's a pervert." "Yeah, I know. He is dating those twins." Orlando rolled his eyes, grabbed a spare pillow to thump Viggo's stomach. "Stop interrupting. If you will let me finish..." His mock glare had Viggo crossing his hands in front of his stomach and looking at him patiently. "Anyway...he reads all this stuff...for ideas, he says...and someone ran this contest and..." "Did we win?" Orlando pursed his lips, sighed. "It's a contest for the stories. Not about us. Although we were in an awful lot of them. And I die in most of them. Off myself in quite a few. Mooning over you." "You?" Viggo's snort was disbelieving. "You're never dying. You're going to stay right here and bug the shit out of me and Sean throughout eternity." Orlando couldn't resist the smile tugging at his mouth. "Probably, yeah. Gotta problem with that?" "Not as such," Viggo said, his grin sly. "Was there a point to all this, or did you just want to cuddle up to me and have me fire off nasty emails to these women?" "Cuddles sound good." Orlando flopped down next to Viggo, sighed happily when the Viggo put Orlando's head on his chest and closed strong arms around him. "Better?" "Yeah, much. Anyway..." Orlando felt, rather than heard, Viggo's sigh. "Anyone ever tell you that you prattle on too much?" "Yeah, you. All the time. Almost as much as Sean." "Smart man, Sean. Perhaps he and I should get together and start fucking the other guys...who all did you say we got?" Figured Vig would be interested in that. "Christ, I can't even remember. There were so many I lost count." Orlando tried to think, chewing on his thumb. "I know Karl was one of them..." "Karl?" Now Viggo sounded very interested. "And me? And Sean?" "You're worse than Dom, you old perv." "Even you have to admit that's a nice thought." Orlando closed his eyes, imagined Vig and Sean and Karl all naked and writhing around with each other. And had to reach down under his boxers and shift his dick, ease some tension. "Yeah, okay, nice thought. Still not the point." "And what was the point?" "Fuck, I don't even remember anymore." "Lovely." Viggo rolled over, trapped Orlando's head between his hands, lowered his mouth. "We can stop talking, then." "Angst," Orlando blurted out. "What?" Viggo pulled back, still a scant centimeter away from Orlando's mouth. "Why does everyone think that you and I have this angsty, emotionally wrecked, fucked up beyond belief relationship?" Viggo groaned, rolled off of Orlando, yelped in surprise when his back encountered his forgotten script. "Fucker," he muttered, pulling it from under him and tossing it onto the nightstand. "Orli, why couldn't you have had this crisis when Sean got back? He loves listening to you babble." "I'm not babbling." Orlando poked Viggo's side hard enough to leave a bruise. "And this is about us, not me and Sean. Although, do you know that he's always the bad guy that breaks us up or ruins our perfect relationship?" "Really?" Viggo sat up, gazed at Orlando in surprise. "That's ridiculous." Good to know Viggo was inclined to agree with him about something. "Yeah, I know. Guess they haven't been paying too much attention, huh?" "Guess not." Orlando crawled back into Viggo's arms, settled his head back on Viggo's chest. "Except for this one...but it's really long. And I'm a drug addict. And Sean's in love with you." Orlando glanced up, eager to see Viggo's reaction to that bit of news. "You're a drug addict?" Viggo shook his head as if to clear it. "Run that by me again." "Yep." Orlando couldn't contain his glee. "And you're enabling me and I try to kill myself -- twice -- and Sean hates me, and I go into rehab, and you and I have a fucking ton of issues to work out, and Sean's completely in love with you." "That's just fucked, Orli." Viggo placed a kiss on Orlando's forehead. "I mean, sick, fucked. Who makes up shit like that? Who reads shit like that?" "You'd be surprised." Actually, Orlando was more stunned than anything else. "It's a very popular series. But it's not nearly as fucked up as some others. There's this story involving Dom and Karl that's so goddamn screwed up and twisted that it made me sick to my stomach to read it." Even though it had been oddly compelling. Orlando didn't have the heart to tell Viggo how it ended. He was pretty sure Vig wouldn't take it too well, fiction or not. "Yeah, well, people are sick," Viggo agreed, tightening his arms around Orlando, the embrace soothing. "And, for fuck's sake, don't tell Karl this stuff. He'd be liable to rush in and defend Dom's non-existent honor." "True," Orlando conceded. He hadn't been planning on telling Karl anyway. Wasn't sure he was actually going to be able to look Karl in the eye for awhile. "Anyway, my question was, why do people think that you and I have all of this goddamn angst? Nobody ever writes about the two of us being happy with each other." "Well, angst sells, love." Viggo tilted Orlando's chin up, covered Orlando's lips with his own for a tender kiss. "No one wants to read about happy stuff. It's all about the struggle." "Why can't struggles have happy endings? Not everything ends badly." "Dunno," Viggo said, lifting his shoulders. "Talk it over with your therapist next time you see him." What the fuck was Viggo talking about? "I don't have a therapist." "Sure you do. Sean is a great therapist," Viggo told him, winking when Orlando tilted his head back. "Isn't it against some rule to be fucking your therapist, then?" "Probably, but the two of you have always made up your own rules." Orlando couldn't stop the laugh that escaped his lips. Even now, after all this time, Vig's tweaked sense of humor never failed to surprise him. "Yeah, well, I'm sure any real therapist would have quite the field day with the three of us." "True. But it works for us, and it's really none of anyone else's business." Viggo ran his hands down Orlando's back, cupped his ass. "You really want to continue talking about sex instead of having it?" he asked, licking the whorls of Orlando's ear with a silky tongue. Viggo knew for a fact that Orlando couldn't string a complete coherent thought together when Viggo started on his ears, let alone a sentence. Orlando simply sighed, letting his head fall back, lost in the familiar sensation of bliss. "Didn't think so," Viggo murmured, sliding down along Orlando's body, creating delicious friction at every pressure point. Their kiss this time was open and wet, with spearing tongues and avid mouths. Impatient hands pushed off boxers, closed around needy cocks, and twin groans filled the room. "When does Sean get back in town again?" Viggo asked, pushing his hips, his cock, into Orlando's questing fingers. "Tomorrow." Orlando's eyes rolled into the back of his head as Viggo's fist started moving over him with fast, controlled movements. "He's going to be disappointed at the lack of sexual activity we've had while he's been gone." Viggo buried his face in Orlando's neck, bit the soft flesh, soothing the mark with his tongue. "S'okay." Orlando had no idea how he was still forming words. His body was a writhing mass of want and now and Viggo. "We're making up for it." After that, all conversation and thought completely ceased, taken over by eager hands racing on skin, by kiss after voracious kiss, by orgasms that fractured them both into tiny splinters, left them panting and raw. "I've got an idea," Viggo said, much later, when they were back to snuggling, hands now moving over each other with lazy strokes. "Wassat?" Orlando asked, voice thick with sleep and contentment. "We'll just write our own stories." Orlando's laugh was short as he snuggled deeper in Viggo's arms. "Yeah, okay. The All-True Adventures of Orlando and Viggo and Sean. Sounds catchy." "I'm serious." Viggo sounded excited, eager. Not a good combination. "We could write all about the time you and me and Sean..." Orlando only groaned, rubbed a hand over his eyes as Viggo continued. God help him if Viggo brought the idea up to Sean. Orlando would never hear the end of it. In the meantime, he made himself a bit more comfortable on the pillow of Viggo's chest. Old man was going to be awhile.
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