The One

Black Hawk Down | CW RP | Damon/Affleck | King Arthur | LOTR FP | Lotrips | NFL RPS | Other Fics | Star Trek FP | Star Trek RP | Supernatural | X-Men | Home


Title: "The One"
Featuring: Billy Boyd, Elijah Wood
Rating: PG
Summary: Diane Keaton is an idiot. Sequel to "Geek Love".
Disclaimer: Never happened.
Notes: For Della, just because.


"When an irresistible force such as you
Meets and old immovable object like me
You can bet as sure as you live
Something's gotta give"

-- Ella Fitzgerald


"Diane Keaton is an idiot."

"Do what?"

"I mean, honestly, who chooses Jack Nicholson over that?"

"God, Lij, you still on about him?"

"Well, you've met him now. You've looked into those eyes. You know."

"All I know is you're obsessing. And it's a wee bit creepy-crawly."

"You can't tell me you'd pick Jack Nicholson over Keanu Reeves."

"No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm merely saying you're biased."

"And there's nothing wrong with that."

"If you say so."

"I'm just saying Diane Keaton is clearly an idiot."

"You can't go around calling Diane bloody Keaton an idiot."

"Why not?"

"First off, she's Diane Keaton. I mean, she's Annie Hall, fer fuck's sake."

"So?"

"And second, it's her character in the movie you're having issue with, not her."

"Well, I'm sure she had script approval. And if she approved that, then she's an idiot. End of story."

"I can't believe we're having this conversation."

"I can't believe you're dissing the Keanu-ness."

"The Keanu-ness? The fuck?"

"Keanu-ness. It's a good word. Sums up a lot."

"Why couldn't you be like this over Ralph Fiennes or Ewan McGregor or someone with talent?"

"Keanu has talent, thankyouverymuch."

"We've been over this. He's pretty. But that's about it. No depth."

"He has incredible depth."

"Only if you like shallow water."

"That didn't make any sense, Billy."

"About as much sense as you saying Keanu "Neo" Reeves has depth."

"He's a very smart man."

"I'll take your word for it."

"You know, you're only being like this because he turned you down."

"I am not!"

"Yeah, you are. Such a sore loser, too."

"You have completely lost your mind. I never asked Keanu Reeves on a date."

"That's not what Dommie tells me."


If you enjoyed this fic, please leave feedback here. Thanks!