"Stuff'll kill you, y'know," he said, reaching for the vinegar like a civilized person. "No faster than those'll kill you," Sean stated, pointing at Viggo's half-burned cigarette. "Salt's at least a natural preservative." "You're an odd person. I'm glad we're friends." "I sincerely hope that was a compliment." Sean chewed in blissful silence on his sodium-saturated fry. "What was it you wanted?" "Told you. Advice." "On?" "Karl." "Who?" Sean asked, popping another fry into his mouth. His lips glistened with grease. He looked pretty happy about it. "Played Eomer," Viggo told him, breaking a piece of fish in half and dipping it in the vinegar. "Stayed with me during the 'Towers' premiere." "Ah, right, young, dark and charming. I remember. What about him?" "Well, y'know. I told you that he and I kinda, um..." "Right, right," Sean interrupted. "No need to go into detail." Viggo grinned. "You're funny when your heterosexuality is showing." Sean merely raised an eyebrow and popped another fry into his mouth. "Continue." "Well, I don't know what to do about it." "About...?" "Karl." Green eyes clouded in confusion. "Thought you and he already, y' know, did something. Not that I want to know, y'understand." "I did do something." Viggo pushed his plate aside and leaned forward, almost unbalancing the rickety table. "That's the point." "See, Vig, I'm a bit out of practice with the way you think. You're gonna hafta use English instead." Viggo chuckled as he picked up his bottle of Asahi. "Funny. I remember that about you. That quick wit." "I'm touched." "Only in the head." "You," Sean pointed, "are stalling. Give over." "I haven't called him since." "So?" Sean shrugged, swallowing half his glass of beer in one gulp. "'E's a bloke, he gets it. Not like we ever call back after, um, sex. Or whatever it was you two did." Viggo grinned. "Want those details?" "No." "Absolutely no fun." "Dull as mud, that's me. And proud of it." "I'm going to Japan." "What, to live?" Sean blinked owlishly. "'Course not, Henry'd kill me." Viggo started picking at the small hole in the worn denim of his jeans, plucking frayed strands. "Doing some promo for 'Towers'." "And this has what to do with Karl?" "Was thinking about asking him along." Sean nodded. "A getaway, yeah. Do whatever it is you two do and come home a refreshed man." Trust Sean to think in the most basic of terms. "Wasn't quite what I had in mind, no." "So, you don't want to take him to an exotic country and do unspeakable things to him?" "Yeah, I do. That's just it." Viggo raked a hand through shaggy hair. "I want to do all kinds of unspeakable things to him. In many countries. For a really long time." "Oh." "Yeah." Sean stared down at his plate in silence for a long few moments. Viggo used the time to make the hole in his jeans even wider. "How come you never called him back, then?" Sean finally asked, tapping a fry to his lips. "Good question." Viggo didn't have an answer. Wasn't sure there was one. "Gimme your phone." "What?" Sean wiped his hand off with his napkin, and held it out. "C'mon. Give." Viggo fumbled about in his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Sean plucked it out of his hand and immediately started pressing buttons. "What're you doing?" Viggo asked, tilting his head, as if the sight somehow would make sense if he looked at it from a different angle. Sean flashed Viggo a quick grin and held the phone to his ear. "Calling your boyfriend." "Calling my -- oh, fuck, dammit!" Viggo lunged. Sean just tilted his chair out of reach. "Sean...!" "You'll thank me...hello, may I please speak to Karl...oh, hello, there. This is Sean Bean." Sean glared at Viggo, clamped a hand over Viggo's to hold him still. "Thank you, it's lovely to speak to you again as well. I'm sorry we never got that scene together. Maybe next time, eh?" Viggo continued to glower, but no longer tried to move. He did, however, intend to get Sean back soon as he could think of something. Thoughts of revenge did not, of course, keep him from listening. "...Look, I've got Viggo here...yeah, he came out to see my play...Macbeth...yeah, yeah, having a marvelous time, thank you. Anyway, Viggo's flying to Japan and needs a bit of company for the press junkets. You free in, um, hold on." Sean put his hand over the phone. "When're you going?" he asked Viggo. "February," Viggo said, wishing the floor would just swallow him. This was so high school. "In February," Sean said, turning back to the phone. "Yeah? Lovely. Wanna talk to Vig?...no, it's fine. I'm sure he'll be chuffed...yeah, I'll tell him...yeah, you too. Ta." Sean flipped off the phone and tossed it in Viggo's lap. "There. Done." "I can't believe you just did that." "He wants you to call him later." Sean started smearing ketchup over his fish. "He needed to go pick up his son." "Hunter." "Yeah, him." Viggo shook his head again. Only Sean. "I can't believe you did that," he repeated. "Well, you weren't going to," Sean shrugged. "And I've only got you in town for a few days. Rather not spend them with you mooning about over some lad when we could be drinking and carousing and catching up." Viggo gave Sean his best, patented glare. "Only you." Sean clinked their glasses together. "Eat up, Lothario. We've got some carousing to do." Onto Simple
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