Title: The Downward Spiral - Part Twenty-Four Disclaimer: Never happened. "It took you To make me realize It took you To make me see the light" -- NIN Dom winced as Karl dabbed the corner of his mouth with ointment. The fluorescent bathroom light hurt his eyes, made the bruises spreading over his body seem larger, more vivid. Shocking purple and red against pale skin, but Dom was proud of the marks. For the first time, he'd acted, instead of just reacting. Karl had yet to say anything to him. He'd just lifted Dom in his arms and carried him to the bathroom, set him on the edge of the tub, stripped him and had gotten a blanket to wrap around him. Karl was still in his jeans, but he'd taken off his shirt, and muscle rippled whenever he moved. The sight of all that bare skin was strangely comforting. Karl continued to treat Dom's various abrasions and wounds, cleaning him up in silence. His eyes were once again cool, his touch now assured, gentle. But Dom remembered the angry trembling in those hands, remembered the way Karl's eyes had turned black with rage. He looked down at the dark hair now obscuring Karl's face, wondered what he would see, what would Karl reveal now? "I'm not sorry," he stated. Karl looked up at him, a slightly puzzled look on his face. "I never thought you were." "You shouldn't be either." "I'm not." Dom sat there for a second, stunned. "Then what are you?" Karl dabbed more ointment on the bit of cloth, and started rubbing it gently on the carpet burns on Dom's cheeks. The touch was gentle, soothing. "I'm proud." Karl had obviously fucked up Dom's hearing along with everything else. "You're what?" Hazel eyes, so intense, so aware, looked back at him. And Karl smiled, the motion transforming his face into something even more beautiful. "I'm proud of you." "Why?" It was barely a whisper. "I think you know." Dom searched piercing eyes for answers...and what he saw in them astounded him. "You did it on purpose." He couldn't quite contain the awe in his tone. Karl's grin widened and he put the cloth down, gave Dom a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm not that good. But I did push you to a point." "Why?" "It was the quickest way for you to see yourself as I saw you." "And how was that?" "Fearless." Karl's answer was prompt. "Once you've lost everything, once you've given up total control, there is nothing to hold you back, nothing to stop you." "And what about everything else?" "Everything was to get you to this point." Karl draped his hands on either side of Dom, scooted in so they were almost touching. Dom was caught in a tender, open gaze. "All my life, I've been searching for you." Dom's brow wrinkled. He guessed he still wasn't getting it. "Me?" "The one person who could make me lose control." Or maybe Dom had gotten it after all. It hadn't really been about domination or subjugation or any of that. It had been about control the whole time...but not the having of it. The losing of it. "How did you know it was me?" It was all he could think to ask. "I just did." Karl sounded so certain, so sure. There was no doubt in his eyes, no second thoughts. "I took one look at you and I just knew." Dom supposed he could understand that. He'd always felt something rippling below the surface with Karl from the very first moment they'd met. He'd put it down to sheer animal attraction, but maybe it had been something more and he'd been too wrapped up in other things to catch it. "I love you, Dominic." Dom's heart just stopped. He sat back, stunned at both the simplicity of the words and the ease with which Karl said them. Karl continued looking at him and reached out a hand to stroke Dom's cheek. The affection in the gesture brought tears to Dom's eyes. "I never thought..." he stopped, still shocked almost beyond thought. "Christ, Karl," he finally managed to say. "You are never what I expect." Karl smiled again, pressed closer so that his bare chest was up against Dom's legs. God, the heat of him never ceased to amaze, the want that was always there, waiting, never ceased to be satisfied. Dom wondered if he would crave Karl's touch beyond death. "What were expecting?" Karl asked. "Some leather bound sadist who would keep you in chains and go to bad nightclubs leading you around like we're in some sort of parade?" Dom laughed, but it was tinged with embarrassment. He had expected something like that in the beginning. "I just wish you'd have been clearer at the first." "Why? You wouldn't have seen, you wouldn't have heard. You haven't heard me up until now, until this very minute." Karl's low voice now traced along Dom's jaw as he placed soft kisses upon it, paying special attention to the cuts and marks. "It's all been rote, all been words you regurgitated back to me in order to get laid." "Not fucking true." Dom stopped. Looked into Karl's eyes. And told the truth. "Not totally." Karl continued his upward path, placing small nibbles on Dom's cheeks, bare whisper kisses on his eyelids. "This...what we have between us...isn't about sex." How could Karl say that when just the feel of lips upon him was making him ache, making him burn? "You could have fooled me." "No. Sex just gets the point across more quickly." Karl pulled his head back, keen eyes piercing his soul. "You weren't goading me into beating you. You were goading me into fucking you." Okay, that was true. Dom could admit that now. "It's about letting go," Karl continued. "For both of us." "So, now what? We live in dysfunctional bliss for the rest of our days?" Karl chuckled, and the sound curled Dom's toes. "Maybe," Karl said, shrugging. "This is as new to me as it is to you. But, understand this. Anything that is in my power to give you, I will. Anything you want, just ask, and I will give it." "And if I wanted to shag Billy senseless behind the lighting rig tomorrow at lunch?" Dom asked, challenging just a little, testing new waters yet again. "All you have to do is ask, and I will give him to you." "Just like that?" Dom snapped his fingers to emphasize, but Karl never even blinked. "You're mine. I take care of what's mine." Yes. Finally, completely and forever. "Do you?" Dom allowed the blanket to slip all the way off his body and lost his breath at the possessive look in Karl's eyes. "Let me take care of you." Dom's grin was pure charm. "I thought you'd never ask." Karl leaned in, traced the whorls of Dom's ear with his tongue. "Dominic..." "Hmmm?" God, shivers already...how fucking amazing. "It wasn't a request." Dom knew that, opened his mouth to say so, but never got a chance as Karl jerked him forward and kissed all reason from his brain. Didn't matter anyway. Dom had all the answers he wanted. Onto Part Twenty-Five Main The Downward Spiral page If you enjoyed this fic, please leave feedback here. Thanks!