Josh propped his back on the pillows, watched in heavy silence as Ewan picked up his clothes, already clad in boxers and those ridiculous purple socks Orlando had given to him as a gag gift a couple of weeks back. Noted the play of muscle under skin, the way the light streaming in ribbons from the partially closed blinds cast glowing shadows in light hairs, made Ewan's pale eyes seem translucent. Maybe he was. Josh couldn't tell. He reached blindly for his pack of cigarettes, anxious to fill his nostrils with something that wasn't the heavy scent of come, of sweat and desire. "Want one?" he offered, voice casual, pleased his hand wasn't shaking as he held the pack out. "Bit clich้d, innit?" But Ewan smiled and plucked one out, tucking it behind his ear. "Let me get my jeans on first." Of course. By all means, wouldn't want you to feel embarrassed at walking around mostly naked in front of me, Josh thought. Hell, you only had your cock so far inside me I thought I was gonna be split in two from the force of your thrusts. Why would I mind if you're naked? Still, he said nothing, just lit his cigarette and watched as denim slid over muscled legs, slim hips, the frayed hem hiding the horrible purple. "Why do you wear those?" he asked, suddenly curious. "Cause Orlando gave them to me." Ewan shrugged into his tight fitting black t-shirt, raked a hand through the spiky mess of his hair. "Why?" "No reason." Josh attempted a smoke ring and failed miserably, wondering why things with Orlando were always so simple. Ewan flopped down next to Josh, bed bouncing a bit as he rolled against Josh's side. "You're thinking." "I've heard humans do that sometimes," Josh replied, glancing into Ewan's smiling eyes. He suddenly felt self-conscious about his own nude state...but didn't make a move to throw on any clothes. His room, after all. And the weight of Ewan's leg prevented much movement. He concentrated instead on the soft slide of cotton as Ewan's purple-covered foot slid through the hairs on Josh's calf. "Care to talk about it?" "Not really." "Hey, I thought this was what..." Ewan blew out a lungful of smoky air, then tucked his cigarette between his teeth. "You knew the rules." "Yeah, I know." Josh summoned his own smile, tried to make it light. He stubbed out his cigarette, mindful not to get ashes on the bed. Only you can prevent hotel fires, he thought, and wondered at the strange twists his mind sometimes took. "If you're looking for more..." "I'm not," Josh interrupted, studying the elegance of Ewan's hands one wrapped around Josh's waist, the other propping his head. Long fingers, tattered nails, thin wrists that stayed still when Josh was pinning them down. "I'm not," he repeated softly, wondered how many times he'd have to say it to believe it. "Okay." Ewan's reply was soft, understanding. Josh didn't want Ewan's understanding, didn't want Ewan's pity. He just wanted...uncomplicated. He lifted his eyes, met Ewan's. Thought about full lips stealing thought, light eyes darkening with pleasure, lean body trembling under his, for him. "Just sex, right?" he asked, unaware he was pleading. "Friends with benefits." "That was the deal, yeah." Ewan's hand was warm on Josh's hip, moving in small circles across skin still heated from sex, from Ewan's fingers digging into the skin. He reached across Josh to put out his own cigarette, and Josh couldn't help the small inhalation Ewan's scent filling him, erasing smoke and come. "Kiss me again." "Josh, this isn't " Josh didn't want to hear it. He leaned down, pressed his lips to Ewan's unresisting ones, slipped his tongue inside, licking, tasting Ewan's smoke combined with his. After a second timeless second in which Josh's body clenched, his soul begged and his heart wept Ewan's tongue touched his, and he returned the kiss. Josh was careful to keep it light, keep it from heating up. His hand on the back of Ewan's neck was static, body still. "Feel better?" Ewan asked, finally ending the kiss, leaning back on his hand again. He touched the tip of his tongue to his lips as if seeking, and Josh found himself leaning in again before he jerked, settled back on the pillows. "Yeah, I guess." Still wondered why he was feeling bad. He'd just had amazing sex with a fabulous guy. No strings, no attachments, just shared pleasure. "Alright." Ewan's acceptance was easy, as was the kiss he placed on Josh's forehead before rolling off the bed. "I'll catch you tomorrow." "Yeah." Josh watched as Ewan slipped battered sneakers over the purple socks, hiding them completely from view. Wondered why that depressed him. "Sweet dreams." "You, too." A slight ruffle friendly, familiar of Josh's hair and Ewan was gone. Josh lit another cigarette and thought about purple socks and Orlando. And simple. Onto Sparkle & Fade
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